Life & Death
by ThatDorkyFangirl
Summary: Life and Death are very connected. What happens when Juvia hides a secret from Gray, but he wants to break up and Lyon swoops in. What happens if tragedy strikes. How will these three manage? (Sorry, I really really suck at summaries.)
1. Lovers & Fighters

Hello My Lovelies. I know I've been gone a while but college has been kicking my ass. Anyway, I am rewriting Life & Death, but slightly different so please stay tuned! Thank you and enjoy!

-ThatDorkyFangirl

* * *

Juvia laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling, absently listening to the _drip drip drop_ of the rain on her window. She couldn't tell if the rain was her doing or natural, but what she did know was that she had some big decisions to make.

She looked out the window and took a deep breath. SHe had a feeling that the rain wasn't her doing. Despite the less than ideal circumstances, she was kind of happy. She was now 21, had her own apartment she shared with the love of her life, Gray Fullbuster. Thanks to them both achieving S class status, they had more than enough money to spare.

For the first time in hours, she cracked a smile. She was starting to like this idea. Her and Gray, living the life of her dreams. They could buy a house, decorate rooms, get married. It would be wonderful.

Juvia giggled to herself and hopped out of the bed. Why was she so sad before? Everything would be fine, even with this being unplanned, it would still be fine. She quickly put on her shoes and practically ran out of their apartment, not bothering to bring her umbrella as she skipped through the rain to the guild.

* * *

Gray sighed into his pitcher before downing the last of its contents. The bitter liquid burned its throat as he felt it slide down to join the other 3 pitchers in his stomach. The ice mage was frustrated. He didn't like how his life was at the moment and more importantly, didn't know how to fix it.

Sure, he had a nice apartment, he was making more than he knew what to do with, he had his best friend and a smoking hot girlfriend. The problem was, that that smoking hot girlfriend was the cause of his frustration. He felt like she was constantly around him. In their apartment she always sat right by him, talking or hugging him. Even in the shower she would sit on the sink and talk to him. Plus, he never thought he'd say this, but her libido was off the charts! Even he couldn't keep up. It seemed to be like a greeting to her.

He sighed once again as he signaled for Mirajane to bring another pitcher. He knew she meant well, but he couldn't help but feel smothered. She was nice, thoughtful, loving and loyal. But he still couldn't get over her obsession with him. In all honesty, it still sometimes freaked him out after 2 years of dating.

Mirajane slid the pitcher of alcohol over to the now mostly naked, ice mage.

"Hey Gray, what's wrong? You've been sighing since you got here? Is something going on with your family again?" Mirajane bent forward and rested her elbows on the counter before her, staring at Gray intently and waiting for his answer.

"No, it's not that… It's just... " He took a deep breath then continued. "I'm having some problems with Juvia." He looked up at Mirajane, not knowing how she would react. She is the guild matchmaker after all.

"Gray, it's normal to have ups and downs in relationships. You guys have been so happy since you started dating its about time a challenge forged your relationship further". The takeover mage lightly smacked Gray's arm and he looked down at his lap.

"Mira, it's more than that. It's not something either of us has done. It's about our personalities. I'm more independent...and she's...not. I feel smothered. She's always clinging to me and never leaves me alone. She's in my business and honestly, I'd like some peace every once in a while." He drew in a quick breath as Mira stared at him. He wasn't the type to get emotional like that so she must have been caught off guard.

"Mira… I don't know how much longer I can be with Juvia…" He sighed as he turned in his seat, downing his drink before slamming the pitcher on the counter and standing up. He took one step and ran right into his girlfriend, who simply stumbled back.

He looked up at her and immediately, his face fell even more. The look on her face was beyond sadness and being heartbroken, it was full of sorrow. The type of sorrow one feels only a few times in their life.

"Gray….sama…" Juvia whispered. She looked down at her feet as he saw a few tears hit her shoes. "Can… C-Can we t-talk…" She whispered again, to the point that he could barely hear.

"Yeah, let's talk, Juvia." He looked back at his longtime friend as she looked at the two lovers.

"You can use the guild room in the back" she pointed to the doors on the back wall. Gray grabbed Juvia's hand and began walking. He felt a twinge in his heart as she simply allowed her hand to lay limply in his, never looking up or making a sound.

* * *

Gray opened the door to the guild room and ushered Juvia in. She quietly walked in and Gray closed the door before flicking on the lights. He pulled up a chair and guided Juvia into it, sitting beside her after ensuring she was comfortable, well as comfortable as can be in this situation.

"Juvia. I-" Before Gray could finish his sentence, Juvia held up a hand, her eyes still refusing to look up.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gray's eyes widened. Juvia, in the entire time he had known her, had never spoken using the first-person except for the few times she had drunk too much alcohol. So, hearing her use the first-person worried Gray immensely.

"I… I didn't know… I thought…" Gray stumbled for words as he tried to make sense of what was happening. Juvia stopped him with a hand once again.

"Do you... still want to be with me?" She asked shakily. He could tell her wall was breaking.

"I… I feel smothered. I feel anxious that you'll pop up and smother me with hugs or kisses. Or bring me bento with us having sex in sushi. I'm anxious that I won't have the alone time I want..." He trailed off and looked down. He heard Juvia take a deep sigh and clear her throat. He felt a soft hand reach out and lift his chin. His eyes met her beautiful sea blue orbs.

"Are you happy?" She whispered. He paused before shaking his head and looking down, only to have her hand lift his chin up again. "Would you be happier without me?"

He paused and looked into her eyes. Would he be happier? He wouldn't have to worry about her showing up anywhere he was. He could shower in peace. He could go to the club without her getting jealous, he'd be free.

A small smile played on his lips as he thought about what his single life would be like. Then, the hand under his chin dropped and the eyes that had been staring into his dropped their gaze once again to the young woman's lap.

"Gray, I want you to be happy. To me, that is the most important thing. I never meant to be a burden to you. If you are unhappy, I will go my own way so that you may go yours. Okay?" Then, Juvia looked up at him. He saw the tears begging to fall from her eyes and the red in her cheeks hinting at her sadness. Yet, she still smiled and encouraged him.

"Okay." He said, and she smiled once again. "But, Juvia, can we still be friends?" Gray looked hopefully at Juvia who leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his.

"This is my last kiss as your lover". She whispered before laying her lips on his forehead tenderly. "And this is my last kiss as your friend…" She smiled at him, an actual sincere smile as the tears finally broke free. "I'm sorry. Goodbye, Gray Fullbster." She stood then and gave a short wave before walking to the door and letting herself out.

Gray watched her silhouette as she shut the door behind her. He couldn't process it, but he just broke up with his girlfriend. The woman he lives with. And she didn't want to be friends? How could that happen if they were in the same guild? Where would he live? Would he have to go on missions with Natsu again?

Gray didn't know what to do or think, so he simply put his head in his hands and sat in silence.

* * *

Juvia leaned against the wall as her tears finally fell. She had never felt sadness like this before in her life. Not when she was rejected as a kid, not when her old guild berated her, not even the 1000 times Gray had rejected her previously. But… this time was different.

She wanted to tell him she was pregnant, she really was planning to. But, when she overheard him talking about her, she knew she couldn't do that to him. She couldn't bring this into his life as well.

She wasn't above admitting, however, that she did this partially for her unborn child. Even if it is a bit twisted, she didn't want her child to grow up with parents that are unhappily together. She didn't want them to think that was what love was.

Maybe one day, she would tell him, when things were better and she wasn't heartbroken. But for now, she would carry this secret with her. Her only immediate problem, now, was hiding the pregnancy and finding a way to explain her new child.

She wiped her tears and straightened herself up. For her, and her unborn child, she needed to be strong. She put a fist in the air to hype herself up and smacked her cheeks a couple of times.

She didn't want to cry right now, she could cry later. But, for now, she needed a plan. She put on a smile and walked out into the main hall. Everyone was being rowdy as usual as she slithered across the wall. Even though she was holding together well now, she didn't know what would trigger her to tears.

She continued along until she bumped into the mission board, knocking down a flyer. She bent to pick it up, but the title caught her eye. "Wanted: Defensive mage to ward off slavers at an Espalier orphanage. One year mission". A switch went off in Juvia's mind as she dashed towards Mirajane.

"I want to take this mission, please!" She shouted and slammed the flyer onto the counter. Mirajane blinked and nodded, quickly looking over the flyer before looking at the water mage with a raised eyebrow.

"Juvia, this is a year-long mission. Do you think Gray will be okay with that?" She questioned innocently. Juvia's smile faltered slightly before she perked back up.

"Don't worry. He'll be fine." Mirajane nodded before taking out her stamp and stamping approval on the flyer. Juvia bowed before rushing off to pack her things.

* * *

So... do you want to eat ttake this chapter on a nice romantic walk or throw it into a pit of steaming lava? Let me know (politely) in the comments! Be looking for the next chappy soon! Love ya bunches!

-ThatDorkyFangirl


	2. Love & Loss

Hello All!

I apologize that it took me so long to update. My boyfriend recently moved in with me and school started up again so I've been a bit busy. I hope to post more regularly now that things have calmed down!

Thank you for all of your wonderful and helpful comments and I hope you enjoy!

Love ya bunches!

-ThatDorkyFangirl

* * *

"Did you… break up with her?" Mirajane looked at Gray as he sulked back to the bar. The ice mage nodded and slammed his head into the bar.

"That's weird, she seemed fine when she came up to me after you guys talked. I thought she'd be a mess." Gray grunted while the barmaid filled a pitcher for him to drown his sorrows.

6 pitchers later, Mirajane was hefting her guildmate over her shoulder to take to one of the beds in the guild. She threw him down and threw the covers over him, slightly frustrated at his drunken state.

The barmaid turned to leave only to feel a hand shoot out and grab her wrist.

"Mira?" Gray slurred. Mirajane turned toward him and kneeled down to be at his height.

"Yes, Gray. What is it?" Gray sighed and put his hands over his face. "Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?" He asked and looked over at his long-time friend.

"Gray… I don't know. I wish I could tell you." Gray nodded and closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep as Mira sighed.

* * *

Juvia arrived at her and Gray's apartment, soaking wet from the rain. She had run the whole way back, refusing to stop in case she lost her nerve. She quickly unlocked the door and shut it behind her before slumping against it and sliding down to the floor. The water mage stared blankly into the room before her, finally allowing herself to process the day's events.

Gray had felt smothered. Juvia had broken up with Gray. They were no longer a couple, and she had cut off their friendship as well. And to put the cherry on top, Juvia was pregnant. But, at least she had a plan.

But, even with a plan, even if she knew what she had to do, even if logic told her it was best to take that year-long mission to give her time to recover… she still hurt. So, she let herself cry. She let herself feel the emotions she had been trying to suppress for hours. She allowed the rain to pour outside and the thunder to shake the buildings of Magnolia. She allowed herself to crumble.

* * *

Juvia awoke several hours later, her tearstained face and burning eyes a reminder of the emotional storm that had rocked her to sleep. She stood from the floor and cracked her back before looking over to the clock on the wall. The time read 2 AM. Gray would have been back hours ago if he were coming back to the apartment. She wouldn't be seeing him before she left. Oddly, she was okay with that. At least then she wouldn't get the chance to back out on her mission.

She walked into her bedroom and grabbed her large suitcase, lifting it and setting it down on her bed. She threw it open and began to neatly place her clothes into the suitcase. She hoped it was large enough to fit all of her stuff, but after 30 minutes, she was reassured that it was.

She folded the last of her clothing and placed it gently in the suitcase. Then she rushed around the apartment, grabbing the rest of her belongings. She grabbed her toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash from the bathroom. Gray had always disliked the floral scent of them, complaining that the smelled too artificial. She grabbed her favorite blanket from the living room, the one Gray had always refused to use, saying that it made him too hot. She went into the kitchen and grabbed her bag of BBQ chips. Gray always disliked them, saying they were too sweet to be actual chips.

Finally, she grabbed Gray's cross necklace. The one he always wore around his neck. He had given her the necklace on their first anniversary, saying it would protect her as long as she wore it. He had placed it tenderly around her neck and given her the sweetest smile… but now, he was no longer hers, she was no longer under his protection.

She looked at the glistening silver one last time, sighing before pressing it gently to her lips. She placed it gently on the kitchen counter, making sure the jewel faced up and glinted in the lights of the kitchen.

She took out a notebook. It was her favorite, an impulse buy on a mission with Gray. The notebook was shaped like a raindrop. She grabbed a pen and quickly scribbled a note before putting the pen away and placing it under the necklace. She looked at the clock, it was 3:30 AM. The first train to Espalier would leave at 5 AM.

Juvia walked to the door with the suitcase in hand, stopping with her hand on the knob to look back into the home she and Gray had built together. With a heavy sigh, she took the key to the apartment off of her key ring and placed it gently on the table by the door before walking out and shutting the door behind her.

* * *

Gray stumbled from the Guildhall at 3:30 AM and made his way home. He took his time, sliding his feet as he walked. Though it was what he wanted, he couldn't believe he and Juvia had truly broken up. She had been a constant in his life for years.

He sighed and kicked a pebble on the road with all of his might, it soared through the air and disappeared out of sight. Maybe, he didn't want to break up with her, maybe what he really wanted was to adjust their relationship. He had never expressed his feelings about her clinginess, how would she know? He loved everything else about her.

Maybe should sleep on it and talk to her in the morning. Maybe, they shouldn't have broken up, maybe they could work something out and get back together. Gray nodded his head to establish his resolve. He'd talk to her in the morning when he wasn't piss drunk and they could speak more.

He finally reached the door and took out his key, inserting it into the lock and opening the door. He stripped as he walked towards the bedroom door he shared with Juvia. He walked into the room in all his god given glory and flopped unceremoniously onto the bed and immediately fell into a deep sleep, not even noticing the lack of warmth beside him.

At 5:20 AM Juvia stood in line to board the train with a ticket in hand. Despite knowing Gray wouldn't come running after her, she couldn't help but to look for the familiar bare-chested man to come barreling towards her. Yet, he never showed up.

She sighed in defeat and handed her ticket to the tired looking conductor. He gave a nod and stepped aside for her to board the train. She shuffled her way down the aisle and shoved her suitcase in the overhead compartment.

Once she was settled, she pulled out a book and began reading. She didn't notice as the train lurched to a start, too engrossed in the story. A tap on her shoulder, however, roused her from her literary trance.

A young train attendant stood before her with a polite smile.

"Excuse me, Miss. Can I offer you something to eat or drink?"

Juvia smiled politely and nodded.

"May I please have some win-... I mean, some water please?" The attendant nodded and handed the young water mage the cup with her drink before moving along to the next passenger.

Juvia closed her book and sipped thoughtfully on her drink before setting it down and gazing at her still flat stomach. She rubbed it gently and let out a small smile. Though the situation wasn't ideal, she was still happy to have this child. She had always dreamed of raising a child and giving them the life she wasn't able to have.

Would her child be a water mage? An ice mage? What will they look like? Will she have a boy or a girl? These kinds of questions swirled in her mind and distracted her from the hurt she felt. She couldn't focus on her hurt, she needed to focus on herself and her child.

She giggled a bit to herself as thoughts of tiny feet and red cheeks filled her mind. The idea of a mini- her running around made her giddy and she couldn't wait to kiss her child's cheeks. She drifted to sleep with these thoughts swirling through her mind and a smile on her face.

* * *

Did you enjoy this chapter? I hope it made you smile like a Chesire cat! Please leave comments with praises or (constructive) criticisms!

Love ya bunches!

-ThatDorkyFangirl


	3. Life & Love

Hello! I am so sorry for that little hiatus. I had some medical issues that caused me to be unable to write. I am mostly recovered now and I will be writing a bunch more! Please feel free to comment and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Gray awoke the next morning with a groan. He reflexively reached his arm toward the other side of the bed, jolting awake at the lack of warmth beside him. He sighed as the memories from the night before flooded into his mind. He had broken up with Juvia, and she had left. He flopped back down and groaned, hungover and in disbelief.

Gray got out of bed and went to the sink, filling a glass with water and downing 2 painkillers with the water. He looked around as he sat the glass down, searching for signs of Juvia's presence. When none revealed themselves, he groaned and smacked himself in the forehead. How could he be so stupid? No wonder she didn't come home, he had been terrible to her. He decided then to search for her and apologize. Even if she didn't take him back, at least he could make his true feelings clear.

He went to the bedroom to get dressed, preparing to search for her. He pulled pants and shirts on and walked towards the front door, passing the kitchen as he did so. A glint made him stop in his tracks and enter the kitchen. On the counter, he saw his silver cross necklace, placed gently on the table, as if as a final goodbye. His eyes widened as he slowly picked up the jewelry.

No matter how big or nasty the fight, she had always kept his necklace and worn it around her neck. On every mission, every date, every day, she wore it. But this time, she had taken it off. His eyes widened as he quickly ran out the door. He was in trouble, and he had to find her and talk things out, but where was she? Then, he had an idea and rushed towards the house of one of his best friends.

He knocked rapidly and frantically until a disgruntled woman opened the door.

"Gray, what do you want?" Erza asked. It was obvious the young woman wasn't expecting guests, she wore pajama pants and a tank top, with her hair in a sloppy bun and a bowl of popcorn in her hand.

"Is Juvia here?" He asked as he frantically tried to look past her into the apartment.

"No, why would she be here?" Erza said with exasperation.

Gray sighed and stepped back from her. "I made a mistake... And I need to apologize to her… Every other time she was upset she came to you, So I thought she would come here again." He looked down at his shoes, the disappointment, and sadness obvious in his eyes.

Erza's eyes widened as she gazed at her distressed friend. "Gray… you don't know?"

Gray looked at the red-head in confusion. "Don't know what, Erza?"

For the first time in his life, he saw Erza look away from him sympathetically. She was normally straight forward and blunt, but she seemed almost sad about what she was about to say.

"Gray, Juvia went on a mission to an orphanage… for a year." Gray's eyes widened and he immediately took off, leaving a stunned Erza calling his name behind him.

He didn't think, he just ran with all his might. He ran faster than he ever had, because to him, his life was on the line. The train station entered his sight and his pace quickened. After what seemed like a lifetime he finally reached the platform and began calling her name.

"Excuse me, sir, you are disturbing our other passengers. Can I help you with something?" A train attendant stepped next to him and looked at him politely.

"Juvia Lockser. She's supposed to be on a train here. Have you seen her? She has long blue hair, a tattoo on her thing. She speaks in the third person?" He looked desperately at the attendant who thought for a moment.

"Oh! I remember her. She sat on that bench over there for hours." the attendant indicated towards a bench before frowning slightly. "But her train left hours ago. She must be almost to her destination by now." Gray stared into space, processing what he had said. She was gone, he wouldn't see her for a year. He fell to his knees and curled into himself as the attendant panicked, trying to figure out what to do.

"S-Sir! Please calm d-down!"

Gray waved at the attendant and whispered quietly."I'm fine. Please… just leave me be." The attendant hesitantly nodded an walked away, leaving Gray sulking on the platform, feeling like his life came to an end.

* * *

Juvia was jostled awake by a gentle hand.

"Ma'am, we have arrived at our destination. Please wake up and exit the train." Juvia woke up to see the train conductor. She smiled at him and nodded, standing and stretching before grabbing her bag and exiting the train.

The woman took a deep breath and nodded her head. She was starting to have second thoughts. She wanted to run back onto the no departing train and back to her Gray. Well, I guess he wasn't 'her' Gray anymore. She shook her head. She wouldn't allow herself those thoughts. No way!

With another self-assuring nod, she grabbed her luggage and walked out of the train station. When she reached the entrance, she found an older woman and a young child standing with a sign. It seemed to be made using crayons and posterboard and had her name haphazardly written on it. She smiled and approached the two.

"Hello, I'm Juvia. Juvia assumes you're Ms. Huni?" Juvia reached her hand to shake that of the woman. She looked to be about 35 years old. She had long black hair and dark ebony skin. Her hair was hanging loose with kinky curls down her back. She wore a flowy sundress and matching sandals. The scent of cocoa butter wafted towards Juvia as the woman swooped in for a hug.

"Juvia! It is so nice to finally meet you! My name is Dori Huni, but you can just call me Dori. I am the director of the orphanage." Juvia's eyes widened.

"Director? But you look so young? How old are you!?" Juvia quickly covered her mouth at her rudeness. "Juvia is so sorry! That was so rude of her!"

Dori laughed before waving her off. "It's ok. I get that a lot. I'm actually 57 years old." Juvia's jaw dropped once again before she heard the young girl, who had hidden behind the older woman, giggle at the situation before her.

"And who are you?" Juvia asked, bending down to be at the girl's height. She seemed to be about 5 years old. She had olive skin and short brown hair. Juvia though she looked like Dora the Explorer.

"My name is Mimi", stated the girl, who then struck a confident pose. Juvia giggled and held out her hand.

"Hello, Mimi. Juvia is glad to meet you!" Juvia was about to shake the girl's hand when she suddenly bolted up and ran away, startling both Dori and Mimi. Who waited only a few short seconds for the girl to return, wiping her mouth embarrassingly.

"Juvia is so sorry! She… Juvis is… Juvia is pregnant and got a bit of morning sickness." She looked down in shame and shuffled back and forth.

"Oh, Juvia! That's no issue at all! If you take care of us, we'll take care of you!" Dori hugged her again and Juvia smiled, hugging her back. Mimi giggled and jumped up and down.

"Yay! Another brother or sister!" Dori hushed the girl quickly.

"Mimi, we don't know if Juvia will be taking her child with her. Don't assume, that is her decision!"

Mimi looked down in shame and nodded, apologizing shortly. Juvia rubbed the girl's head.

"Sorry, Mimi. Juvia will be taking her child home. But she'll be sure to bring them to visit and play." Mimi grinned and nodded, before getting a serious look on her face.

"Juvia, why do you talk like that? Why do you talk about yourself like you aren't yourself?" Juvia paused, she had never thought about it before.

"Juvia… isn't sure."

"Well, Ms. Juvia. You have a baby coming. The baby will get confused if you talk like that. I am getting a bit confused." Mimi scratched her head before receiving a whack upside the head from Dori, who chastised her for being rude.

Juvia giggled "It's ok, Dori. Mimi is right, it is time for Juvia… I mean me, to start a new chapter of her-my life! Thank you, Mimi." Juvia smiled.

"Come on, Ladies. Let's get you settled in." Dori led them to the waiting car and they packed in before driving away.

* * *

"PUSH!" The doctor yelled as Juvia screamed in pain. Her baby had decided to come over a week late. At 41 weeks pregnant, Juvia was ready for her little girl to come out. Well, at least she thought it was a girl. The point was, her, the doctors and all the kids and staff at the orphanage were getting eager. But Juvia did not expect it to hurt THIS MUCH.

She grunted as she pushed again, a little head emerged and the doctor patted Juvia's leg.

"One more push, Juvia." The doctor said encouragingly. A clap of thunder made the doctor jump and Juvia glared.

"Juvia knows! Just get her out!" She screamed. Though Juvia had dropped her third-person speaking habit for the most part, in times of high emotion, like giving birth.

Another clap of thunder came as Juvia gave a final push. She heard a high-pitched scream as the child was placed on her chest. The rain and thunder outside stopped abruptly and went away. Juvia let a few tears roll down her cheeks as the nurse took her child to clean, weigh and give her first vaccines.

Once the child was placed back on her chest Juvia looked at the beautiful baby girl and kissed the top of her head.

"Hello, My little Nami. Nami Gray Fullbuster. She gave the little girl a name and snuggled her new child.

She didn't think about what she would do when she returned in 2 months, nor why she gave her child her ex's last name, she only thought about her daughter and giving her the best life possible.

* * *

So, did you want to jump into a river of rainbows or drown in a river of Unicorn puke? Constructive comments are always welcome!

I will try to post weekly, if not more from now on. 

-ThatDorkyFangirl

Love ya bunches!


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